The Most Mature Decision I’ve Ever Made
This post was supposed to be titled “The Real Cost of Road Tripping Across the Country.”
For the past few months, going to LA was all I could talk about to my friends, fellow bloggers, internet followers and, hell, even random strangers who bought stuff from my “yard” sale. It’s been a lifelong dream of mine to head out West and bask in the
smog sunshine that is LA.
So I talked about it.
And talked about it.
And then… I didn’t go.
I know. I’m shocked, too. And I’m still not really sure how to fully explain it. (Not that I need to explain myself, but I feel like the hard things to talk about are the exact things that need to be talked about, especially on the internet, where everyone’s lives look perfect and glamorous. Hello, my name is Martine and my life is neither perfect nor glamorous.)
Although I had planned and planned and planned some more, things started to go wrong before I even left Philly, and a creeping feeling I had ignored for the better part of this past year finally came to the surface. Apartments fell through, car trouble started, imposter syndrome was in full swing and expenses were mounting. Before I knew it, I had wracked up a very healthy sum on my credit card. Like, more than double of what Jess had. #whoops
Finally, in the 11th hour (aka the week before I was due to leave), I couldn’t ignore my gut any longer. Things did NOT feel right. And on top of that nagging feeling, my finances were a mess, which was a very real big red flag. (And if I’ve learned anything in life, it’s not to ignore the red flags!)
So I pulled the plug and made the very hard decision to literally pack it up and move back home to Massachusetts to re-group. “Re-group” means ‘pay off debt, save tons of money, find a real job and figure shit out’ to everyone, right?
My mom called it the most mature decision I’ve ever made. I, on the other hand, was heartbroken.
Of course there are times when I think about all the what ifs. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, ya know? The bottom line is these difficult decisions are part of being an adult. And we make them because we want our lives to be better. News flash: our lives ARE better because we make these tough calls and live to tell the tales.
The decision sucks. Moving home sucks. Being back in my childhood bedroom definitely sucks.
But you know what doesn’t suck? Having a sweet new job, saving money, being debt free, maybe being able to buy myself some nice things when I need them, not having to travel for the holidays, having a car, being closer to my family and best friend, cutting my monthly expenses by about 75%, living where they broadcast every Patriots game… (You get where I’m going with this.)
Do As I Say, Not As I Did
Even though I KNOW everyone has to make their own mistakes and you could (and probably will) read this one minute and do the exact opposite the next (no hard feelings), I’ll leave you with these little nuggets of wisdom:
Go after the things you really want in life, but be smart about your journey.
Ban “It’s ok, I’ll just put it on my credit card and figure it out later” from your vocabulary.
Listen to your instincts! Even if it’s something you don’t want to hear.
It’s never too late to change the plan if the plan no longer works for you.
And know that if you’re struggling, we’re here for you. Seriously! Call us, beep us, however you want to reach us…